UPDATE: 25 lbs worth of progress.

So its been entirely too long since my last update.  I was down 10 lbs last time.  Now, I'm down...........drum roll please...............................25 lbs!!!!!!  I still have a ways to go to reach my goal. But 25 lbs is a big accomplishment. The difference is very noticeable now. 

I went home to Orlando in January.  At that point I was 189, and in complete denial about what size I actually was.  I didn't realize how bad it was until I saw a few pictures from when my family and I went to disney.  This is me, standing somewhere in disney, shoving handfuls of popcorn in my mouth.

Let's point out a few points here.  Starting from the top, fat face. You can actually see what my sleeve through my jacket, which is a bit snug.  Extra large Star Wars shirt with giant boobs and belly stuffed inside. Jeans, way tight. Needless to say, this is a bit embarrassing but I had to see and share in order to truly appreciate the progress I've made.  So, I put on this same shirt and pair of pants to show the difference between fat Jen and not so fat Jen.

So, as you can see, this outfit looks a lot different without an extra 25 lbs stuffed in it.  The pants still fit because of the material, but there is wiggle room now.  They don't bunch up anywhere.  The shirt actually fits the way it is supposed to and doesn't make everyone on the shirt look like Jabba the Hutt. And there is not belly over pants going on.

Next up,  a picture from Animal Kingdom.

I don't really think i need to explain this one but yeah.  I'm not really sure why I insisted on wear my jacket.  I mean i love it and everything but it shouldn't have had to work so hard.  It fits a lot more better now, and i'm sure appreciates the weight loss as much as the pants, shirt, and I do.

These pants fit a whole lot better now.  I actually have to pull them up to my belly button, even though they are hip huggers, in order for them to fit properly.  I don't know what I would do without my belt. 

I still have some more weight to lose. But the biggest and most important thing is that last yeah when I was trying to lose the weight the first time, I hit my plateau at 16 lbs lost, 167 lbs.  I have passed that points in both weight lost and current weight.  I'm sure I'll hit another plateau, but I know that it is possible to move past it and continue to my goals.  Weigh ins are April 18th I think so I have a few more weeks.  I'm at 164 right now and I need to be 156 or lighter with PT clothes on to be within standards.  I'm very confident that I'll be able to reach that goal.  Remember, my ultimate goal is 145-150.  But it is within my reach now.  4 more pounds and I reach the first goal I set for myself, 160, so I'll be able to go back to the doctor and get on the list for my breast reduction.

In the meantime,  I am sticking to my diet plan.  Fewer carbs, little to no sugar, and portion control.  I've been doing really good at the sugar part, but the carbs get me every time.  Damn you carbs, why are you so friggen delicious.  Losing the weight has also helped me be able to do a lot more in the gym.  My leg hasn't been bothering me as much lately since there isn't as much weight being put on it.  I was even able to run around a bit last week.  I went out and played a little softball.  Running was a little weird because I hadn't done it in so long.  It hurt, but now that I've tried it, I know I'll be able to do it with no problems soon.  Just want to give all those doctors a giant eff you, when I'm able to run and they said I'd never be able to.

I'm very proud of myself, and I'm going to keep going until I reach my goal.  I don't want to have to do this again, and i definitely don't want to have any more pictures like that.  That's all for now, thanks for reading. :)

Hello progress, my name is Jen.

So it has been about a week since my last post.  Since then, I got my 2nd b-12 shot, I started the water pill and appetite suppressant, and I lost 8 lbs , scratch that, make it 10 lbs! it was 8 yesterday afternoon when i started writing this entry. 10 as of this morning! :) Busy week. lol

I have definitely a change since the shots.  I have so much energy I don't know what to do with myself.  I usually just go to sleep most of the time because I'm going like a mile a minute all day, it's exhausting.  And paired with the pills, oh my lord.  I feel like a squirrel all day, just  all over the place.  The appetite suppressants seem to be working so far.  I haven't felt the need to snack all day.  Its a tiny capsule with little beads inside that release over time. So I take it after breakfast this way I won't feel hungry all day.  I haven't had the urge to snack, which is what my biggest problem used to be.  I've also been working on smaller portions and eating slower.  Eating slower gives my body time to process the food and  let me know when I'm actually full.  The one issue I've had is like trying to eat small portions when going out to eat.  The dr gave me some good advice.  He said, don't get an appetizer, ask for a lunch portion if possible, and ask for the take out box with the meal.  By having the take out box, I can put half of the food in the box and only eat whats on my plate, and I'll also have a perfect portion to eat the next day.  So next time I go out, I'll try it. The big thing I'm dealing with right now is trying to cut down on my carbs.  EVERYTHING has carbs lol. Everywhere I look, there is a carb just torturing my very soul lol.   So I've been trying to limit myself to 2 a day.  We'll see how that goes. One day at a time. 

So I've been to the gym 3 times so far this week.  I wanted to make it 5 but looks like I'll only be able to squeeze in 4.  I'll see how I feel later today and maybe I'll go tonight too, or maybe while I'm on duty.  Yeah, I think I can manage that.  My workouts have been getting progressively more productive.  I just get bored easily.  Like after 20 minutes on the elliptical, I'm not tired or anything, I'm just bored and have to force myself to stay on longer.  Thursday I actually made it on there for 40 minutes.  After that I couldn't take it anymore. lol  I know that sounds horrible but I was just sooooo bored.  I'll try to aim higher next time. :)

The only downside to these pills is that they make me CRAZY thirsty! I drink soooooo much water, which i guess is a good thing but I really don't like feeling thirsty all the time.  And I pee ALL THE TIME.  Which really sucks because the only bathroom at work is downstairs, so I have to run down there and hope I don't pee on myself. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

***SIDE NOTE: Have you ever noticed how you can hold your pee for like ever but the closer you get to the bathroom, the more you have to go.  Like you hold it all the way to the bathroom but as soon as you walk in you're like about pee everywhere. lol***

Sorry had to share that with everyone.

Overall I am feeling really good about my decision to start the b-12 and to take a more active role in my weight loss.  I am looking forward to what lies ahead and loving the fact that I am seeing progress.  I have to enjoy the progress while its here so that I don't get down on myself and give up again once I hit the inevitable plateau.  Stay tuned kids....

Coming up with titles is hard.

So I've decided that I'm not going to post everyday.  Sometimes I don't have very much to say but mostly its just super annoying lol.  But anywho, I am writing today because I forgot to include some helpful weight loss tips I got the other day. 

Tip #1: Preparation H.  Some of you have already heard of using preparation H to cut some inches off.  What I've been told before was to put it on my stomach with some Saran Wrap.  Its supposed to tighten up the skin or something.  Sounds gross but its helped a lot of people I know get through weigh ins with only a short amount of time to do it.  So, the new tip was to use the Preparation H but to put it in my lotion.  Use it all over, and the lotion covers up the smell.  Its supposed to keep the skin tight during weight loss.  A lot of people have a problem with loose skin after losing weight.  This is supposed to minimize that.  Still sounds gross, but I'm thinking about trying it.  What's the worse that can happen?

Tip #2: Cold Water.  I usually just drink room temperature water.  I've just never one of those people that need cold water. Room temp is fine with me, doesn't really matter.  But I was told that cold water is better for weight loss.  The body has to work to warm it up to move it through your system. While its doing this, you're burning calories.  FOR FREE! lol So I am not more of a ice cold water person now.

There were more but I was in with the doctor when the nurse was out in the lobby talking to everyone.  I came in at the end of the conversation so only caught these 2.  I wish i would have been there for the rest of them though.

Today I had some Starbucks.  Not my usual though.  What I usually get is a Grande Caramel White Chocolate Mocha.  Oh so delicious but 470 calories! uh wow. My diet says I can have black coffee with artificial sweetener.  Since I think black coffee is disgusting, I decided to try something.  I ordered a Grande Skinny 2 Splenda Caramel Macchiato.  All of the skinny drinks  at Starbucks have 130 calories.  Its sugar free, no whip cream, and uses non fat milk.  It wasn't bad at all.  Splenda has a bit of an after taste but it was bearable.   I'm not going to drink it all the time, but I decided to allow myself to have coffee on duty days, and weekends.  But only if I'm already out and about.  I won't leave just to have one.  And since I don't really go anywhere or do anything on weekends, it won't be too often.  So tomorrow I think I'm going to try a skinny vanilla latte.  We'll see how that goes. Even if its gross, I hope it gets me through my duty day.

This diet is tough but I have to be able to make it my own or I'll never make it through.  It doesn't say I can have milk but it also doesn't say I can't.  Non-fat milk doesn't really have anything bad in it.  Doesn't taste nearly as good as whole milk but it serves a purpose.   We'll see how it works out. 

I went to the gym a total of 4 times this week.  I feel like 3 of those 4 times were productive.  I'm trying to work my way to 10 times a week.  That works out to be twice a day, 5 times a week.  I think that's reasonable.  I'll get there one day.  Next week I want to make it to the gym 5 times a week. 

So I have some weight loss tips, a solution to my coffee problem, and my next goal.  We'll see what happens from here.

Day 2.

So I'm on day 2.  Not really feeling or seeing a difference but I'm not losing faith.  Just off to a slow start.  I've been having all sorts of crazy cravings though.  Not because I'm hungry, but because I know I can't have it.  I really want some popcorn.  And rice.  And coffee.  ugh.  No carbs, no sugar, and no coffee is going to make me go insane.  I'm going to fight through it though I have a goal and this is a necessary change. 

I'm doing pretty good so far though. I've been to the gym 4 times this week, and I'm going again tomorrow.  I also started my B-12 shots today.  I'm going to Southampton Health Services.  Today they weighed me and figured out my BMI. Then we discussed goals.  I told the nurse that my goal is 145, which is what I'm supposed to be for my height.  I'm supposed to be between 135 and 145.  But I've decided that 145 is a comfortable weight for me.  Anything less might look weird. Next week I go back to pick up the water pill and appetite suppressant.  These will aid in the weight loss.  Water pill will help me retain less water and get rid of whatever water I have in my body right now.  The appetite suppressant is pretty self explanatory and will hopefully kill the cravings along with my desire to snack.   I'm hoping that this regimen will give me the extra push I need to lose the weight.  A few of the nurses there were once patients and they said it worked wonders for them.  One of the nurses showed me a picture of her from last October when she was 275. She's 175 right now.  My results probably won't be that extreme but at least I know it works and that achieving a weight loss goal is possible. As long as I stick to the prescribed diet, keep working out, and stay positive I know I'll get to where I want to be.

I'm anxious to see how this B-12 things works out.  I'll know more in a few days.  I'll keep you all posted on the pending progress and all that good stuff.

Starting from scratch...

So once again I have found myself at a crossroads.  Stuck somewhere between the person I currently am, and the person I want and need to be.  Those of you who followed my last blog were a big help to me, but unfortunately I fell short of my goal and pretty much got down on myself and gave up.  So right now I'm back at square one.  I don't really like who I am right now (more physically than anything), but I am willing to make the necessary life changes to become who I want to be.

I've never been much of a fan of dieting but I have to start somewhere.  I am currently waiting for a breast reduction.  I know what most of you are thinking. But this is something I have to do for me.  While big boobs are awesome in theory...live with them and you'll understand.  The back pain is starting to become unbearable.  Clothes shopping is a total nightmare.  I have to buy shirts 2 sizes bigger than usual to cover the girls, and forget about cute tops or dresses.  And bras are just out of the question.  Its also a self esteem issue.  Everyone looks, and looks again...you don't think I notice, but I do.  Everyone is either staring, trying not to stare, or commenting on them.  Yes, I know they're big, and I know they're there...thanks for reminding me.  I saw the doctor today for my consult and she told me to lose 20 lbs before they'll consider working on me.  Only so I'll be proportional after the surgery.  Totally understandable.  So...160 will be my first checkpoint.  This is where they'll be able to operate.  my next checkpoint will be 153, this is where I am withing weight standards for the navy.  and my final goal is 145, this is where I will be at a weight that I have been most healthy at and comfortable with myself. Its going to be a long road but I am up for the challenge and I refuse to give up on myself again. 

I am going to buy a Kinect as soon as possible.  I played Dance Central when I was home on leave and it was a total workout, and lots of fun.  They also have tons of weight loss/exercise games out on Kinect that I know will help.  I've never been a fan of the gym or taking classes there.  Just not comfortable.  The games give me the intesity of the class in the comfort of my home.  So i am currently saving up for that.  Hopefully I'll have it by the end of next month. 

I have a lot of work ahead of myself, and for those of you who are will be following me, I thank you for your support.  I don't know what I'd do without you ;)  Stay tuned readers.  <3